Be Smart Act Dumb

Published in The Friday Times, March 2007

(This is an old article i wrote five years back, when I was a high-flying corporate slave. My views might not have changed! If you need background on why I am posting old published stuff please read the earlier post: Magic of the Printed Word).

While the smart girls were busy fighting for their rights, and proving their worth, the smarter ones decided to act dumb. Yes, Smart is Over Smart and Dumb is the new Smart.

All their lives qualified, intelligent, sweet-looking young girls have had one adversary standing in their path to glory: the Damsel in Distress. While they have the best ideas: she gets all the credit, while they toil away at work till 10 at night: she arrives the next morning and gets all her work done by fluttering her eyelashes, while they scare away men by out-witting them: she has the best of the lot fighting for a chance to help her out.

So who is smart here and who is dumb? Is the Dumb Blonde species far more evolved than we had considered them? Is all that makeup camouflage for the smartest female on the block?

Armed with degrees from universities with intimidating names, career paths that are the envy of their male peers, and a ridiculously high IQ level, the smart female is a scary lunch partner. She already knows that there was a bomb blast in Timbaktoo two hrs ago, has an opinion on the documentary you saw last weekend, will give you honest professional insights on what was wrong with your presentation yesterday and already knows the punch line of your joke. Compare this with lunch conversation with a Dumb Blonde. She is attentive to every story you tell her, will ohhh and ahh at all the right moments, says “really, is that so?” in the cutest fashion and makes you feel like the smartest guy on the planet. Intoxicated with this confidence you are willing to take down the wall of Berlin at her beck and call, while she lazily files her already manicured nails.


So while the smart ones convene and laugh at the Dumb Blondes jokes, are the dumb ones actually having the last laugh? Do they have the intelligence to recreate the software architecture itself while they pretend and struggle attaching a file in their emails? Do they laugh silently as they watch the smart ones fall in their traps: demonstrate how to do things the right way and eventually end up volunteering to work on the weekend, while the Dumb Blondes enjoy their weekend at the spa?

With the effortless way their schemes work, I have reason to believe that the Dumb Blondes must have a secret society somewhere. It is secret because by the rules of the Dumb Blonde Game, they are not allowed to get along with each other in front of others. This makes people believe that one Dumb Blonde is the enemy of the other, whereas they share all the insights gathered with each other at their monthly meetings. How else is each Damsel in Distress so oblivious to her surroundings but completely equipped to forward her own self interest.

Once you decide to play the Dumb Blonde Damsel in Distress Game, life becomes an easy ride. It is best to start early. So in play school, the boy sitting next to you, will give you his own fries, while he munches on your dry sandwich. Your grade two friend will let you cheat on her assignment and get a lower grade because the teacher thinks the idea is not original. Your teacher will let you get off the hook because he seriously believes that your dog ate the fish which ate the homework. You will be the first one picked for all group projects and spend the rest of the semester sitting in the canteen and take the occasional coke to the ones actually working. The privileges do not end here: you will be the first one in your group of girl friends to get married (best of luck with that though!) and have the largest rock on your finger. While your “smarter” friends complain about the lack of decent men, you will enjoy coffee mornings while your kids are taken care of by the nanny, because your husband understands your fear that you will drop the baby. Your children will pamper you when they grow up because they want Mom to relax and take a cruise on the Mediterranean after a “stressful” life and you will happily play golf while your retired rich husband is lying in bed unable to move after his stroke.

So please line up and join the Dumb Blonde parade, being smart is not as smart as it used to be.